Top Ten Impossible Things To Say When You’re Drunk

1. “I think it’s too soon for us to have sex.”
2. “No thanks barkeep, I’ve had enough already.”
3. “Good evening, officer. Isn’t it a lovely night?”
4. “You’re right.”
5. “I’d love to go home with you, but you’re just not that attractive.”
6. “No thanks. I don’t want any pizza.”
7. “I should probably just keep my mouth shut about it.”
8. “Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T . . . ”
9. “Let’s just talk it through. There’s no need for violence.”
10. “No, I don’t know why you pulled me over.”