There is a guy sitting at a bar and is drinking shots.

He says to the bar tender "Give me two double shots of scotch."

The bar tender gives the two shots. The guy then does one shot and then pours the other one on his hand. He then again says to the bar tender, "Give me two double shots of scotch."

The bartender did not see him pour them on his hand before, so he gave him two more.

Then the guy did it again. He did one shot and then poured the other one on his hand.

He then asks the bartender again for two more shots, but this time the bartender saw him do it, and didn't think anything of it until he saw him do it again.

So the guy asks for two more shots and the bartender had to ask him what and why he was doing it.

He says "I am giving you these shots and you keep pouring one on your hand, why are you doing it?"

The guy says. "I'm getting my date drunk."

:bananen_s milies022:

Three tough looking rats, sitting at a bar, drinking.

The first rat puts down his beer and turns to the others, saying, "You know how tough I am? Well, you know that rat poison they put down in the kitchen? I eat that stuff for breakfast lunch and dinner!"

The second rat looks unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. You know those big rat traps they got all over the place? Well, get this - I jump in and out of them for a bit exercise. That's how tough I am!"

The third rat knocks back his whiskey, slams the glass down on the bar and heads for the door. "Where are you going?" asks the first rat.

"I'm off home to screw the cat", replies the third rat.



A panda walks into a bar. It asked for a burger, eats it then shoots a man at the counter, and leaves.

The next day, he does the same thing.

On the 3rd day, the bartender asks the panda why he does this.

The panda says, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary and you'll find out why."

So the bartender looks up panda in the dictionary, and what does it say?

Panda: Eats shoots and leaves!